Trying To Move On

I have a nemesis.

While it may be perfectly normal to like some people more than others it is neither healthy nor productive to actively dislike somebody, to spend precious time and energy on said dislike. Yet, even sitting in that knowledge, I'm doing it. It's not like me, but I'm doing it. I don't do this with other people I don't like, but I'm doing it with this one. I'm not sure why but I'm doing it. I am certain she has no idea how I feel about her and she probably wouldn't care if she know.

She just isn't a good person. The social worker in me finds her world view shows a complete lack of understanding and empathy for the complexities of the human condition. I find the fact that she is a teacher scary. She is deeply offensive and unkind to everyone except the handful of people she has deemed worthy. She's a smug, self-important little brat.

Now I know she is not the only person in the world like this and I know that she isn't all bad. But the bad parts make me dislike her. The fact that I take it as personally as I do is because she is now married to my cousin, who is one of the most likable people around. I hate that she is now family. But it's not like I have to see much of her. They live in Maryland and since she's deemed our side of the family unworthy she's making sure their visiting efforts center around her side of the family. Besides it's not like she married my brother.

Still, disliking her has almost become a mini-hobby. I read her facebook posts because I know I can count on her to give me more reasons to dislike her. I am always ready to verbally bash her. Part of me even looks forward to giving her the cold shoulder and crook eye when I see her next and I don't even know when that would be.

I wish I knew what it is about her that has brought out this ugliness in me. Even more I wish I could figure out how to stop doing it. Part of me thinks if I could figure out why I actively dislike her and nobody else I could let go easier. But I suppose at this point it may just be a habit. Maybe I should start by blocking her facebook posts from my newsfeed. Then maybe I can come up with a backup topic to think or talk about when she pops into my head or comes up in conversation.

Have you ever actively disliked somebody? What did you do about it?