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My Aunt and Uncle, who live locally, have invited us to their greenhouse this weekend for their annual holiday festival. I've wanted to go since we heard about it a couple weeks ago and it is coming up this Sunday. We talked about inviting my husband's parents but figured they wouldn't want to come because they live an hour away and the greenhouse is a 1/2 hour from us so that would mean 3 hours on the road for them. We went ahead and invited them and to our surprise they said yes.
Now I'm getting anxious about it. Before when I thought it would just be my husband and I there was the comfort of knowing that if I couldn't make it, it was okay. If we went and I started to feel real bad we could just leave early - no problem. Now that my in-laws will be driving all this way to go with us I feel like I don't have that out.
Deep down I know no matter what happens I'll be okay. If I have to leave, it's okay, they will understand. But I will feel awful if they have to spend 3 hours on the road if I can only stay for a 1/2 hour. Mostly I think I feel pressure because they are my in-laws and I'm just not completely comfortable with them yet. I still feel like I need to put on the bravest, toughest front with them. I feel like I need to hide the ugliness of my chronic pain from them.
I may feel fine and maybe there won't be an issue at all. I need to find a way to not experience all this anxiety and fear surrounding the what ifs.
Your fears are not unfounded, and I hope you get through the day pain free. I always worry if I will feel up to doing things I have planned. Especially if others are involved. I think it's normal to feel this way after years of chronic pain and illness.
ReplyDeleteI think it is normal too. I would imagine that if you weren't feeling up to staying super long they would understand. I worry about this stuff too but I have found that generally, people understand and don't make a big deal about it. I do hope that you will be able to enjoy and stay a while. It sounds like a neat thing!
ReplyDeleteHeather
Yep, normal. My husband can usually see past my brave front, so sometimes he'll be the one to initiate leaving an event early or not going at all. Maybe you could have a secret sign that you can do, so your husband will know that you're running low on energy and are going to have to stop soon. I've found that sometimes it's easier to let him deal with his own parents. Even if they don't really understand my chronic pain, they'll do anything for their son (and thankfully he'll do anything for me).
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful time, and that your fears and anxieties melt away.